I Left Social Media on My 32nd Birthday. Here’s What Came Back.
A little over a year ago, on my 32nd birthday, I deactivated & deleted Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, Twitter and TikTok.
It was a birthday gift to myself & it was also a line in the sand.
I had started noticing behaviors that did not feel like me. I was looking at accounts I knew were not healthy for me to keep checking, and what I saw would send me into a spiral. I kept catching myself and thinking, This is not me. I do not want to be this person anymore.
My total daily screen time was around eight hours. That is almost the length of a full workday spent looking at a screen. Not every one of those minutes belonged to social media, but the number still forced me to ask: How much of my own life am I missing while I watch everyone else’s?
Then I would look around and see how many of us were glued to our phones. I knew there had to be more to life than this.
Even I’m surprised that I have stayed off these platforms for over a year. At first, I worried about what I might lose. Would I feel disconnected? Would I miss important moments? As a personal trainer, would stepping away make it harder to find clients and grow my business?
Instead, I discovered how much of my life was waiting for me on the other side of the scroll.
I now think of fast-moving social media as fast food for the brain. It can be entertaining and satisfying for a moment, but that does not always mean it is nourishing us. After more than a year without it, I can see more clearly what it had been taking from me & what I gained when I reclaimed my attention.
The constant comparison became quieter
Before I left social media, I spent hours scrolling past other people’s bodies, lifestyles, relationships, homes, and accomplishments. I was often comparing my real, everyday life to someone else’s most polished moments, especially influencers.
Once that stream of comparison was no longer in front of me every day, I began appreciating my own beauty and the life I had already created.
My life was not lacking. My attention was simply being directed everywhere except toward it.
The grass really is greener where you water it.
Stepping away did not magically remove every insecurity, but it stopped me from feeding those insecurities all day. I experienced less comparison, less anxious energy, and far less negative self-talk. I could hear my own thoughts again without hundreds of other voices telling me what my body or my life was supposed to look like.
I gained time & boredom back
When doomscrolling was no longer an option, I had to sit with boredom.
At first, that can feel uncomfortable. We have become so used to reaching for stimulation the moment life gets quiet. But boredom created room for my imagination, curiosity, and creativity to return.
Over this past year, I started gardening and grew sweet potatoes, tomatoes, cucumbers, and peppers. I read more and felt genuinely proud of myself for finishing books. I got a card from my local library. I discovered embroidery, which I surprisingly love, and I want to keep improving my skills.
I started using Duolingo to strengthen my Spanish and learn Italian. My cats, Luna and Simba, got more playtime and learned new tricks.
The hours that once disappeared into scrolling became hours invested in learning, creating, growing food, playing, and being present.
That is a return on investment no algorithm could give me.
I learned the difference between seeing updates & being connected
Social media made me feel as if I were connected to everyone. In reality, I often just knew what people had posted.
Once I unplugged, I no longer automatically knew how my friends, family members, and clients were doing. I had to reach out. I had to call. I had to ask real questions and listen to the answers.
Friends sent me photos directly from graduations, proms, and important family moments. Those exchanges felt more personal because they were shared with me intentionally, not placed into a feed for hundreds of people to pass by.
I also faced a difficult truth: I had many social media friends, but when I disappeared from the apps, I disappeared from some of their worlds, even when they had my phone number.
At the same time, my real relationships became deeper. I became more involved in the lives of the people I genuinely cared about. Leaving social media did not make me less connected. It taught me which connections I wanted to nurture.
Going offline made me more creative in my business
One of my biggest fears was: How will I market my personal-training and coaching services without social media?
Stepping away became one of the best career decisions I made.
I could no longer depend on posting and hoping the right person would stop scrolling long enough to notice me. I had to become more intentional. I reached out to prospective and current clients personally. I strengthened relationships in my local community. I relied on conversations, referrals, the quality of my coaching, and programs designed around what people actually needed.
I reminded myself that talented trainers built meaningful careers long before social media existed. If they could do it, so could I.
Being offline pushed me to become more creative in my programming and more personal in the way I serve people. It reminded me that visibility and impact are not the same thing.
Privacy became a form of peace
I also gained something I had underestimated: privacy.
Living in a close-knit community and coaching at different fitness facilities can sometimes make it seem as if everyone knows everyone. It feels peaceful to have a life that does not need to be displayed: at the gym or outside it.
I no longer feel obligated to explain where I am, what I am doing, what I am wearing, or how my life is going. I decide who receives access to me.
Peace is something we create internally, but boundaries help protect it. It is okay not to give everyone a front-row seat to your life.
This conversation is becoming bigger than personal preference
This is not only about my individual experience. Governments, regulators, parents, and public-health advocates are questioning how these platforms are designed.
In August 2026, Meta (the company behind Facebook and Instagram) agreed to a settlement worth up to $18 billion with U.S. states and territories over allegations that it designed features to keep young users engaged, misled the public about risks to children, and collected data from children under 13 without parental consent. Meta denied wrongdoing, but the agreement also included new youth safeguards such as default time limits, restrictions on notifications, and age-assurance measures. Reuters reported the details of the settlement here.
The concern extends beyond one company. In February 2026, the European Commission preliminarily found that TikTok’s addictive design, including infinite scroll, autoplay, push notifications, and its highly personalized recommendation system, could violate the European Union’s Digital Services Act. The investigation is not yet a final ruling, but it directly questions whether design features undermine users’ ability to stop. You can read the European Commission’s findings here.
Australia has gone even further. Since December 2025, age-restricted platforms have been required to prevent children under 16 from creating or maintaining accounts. Australian regulators describe the policy as a delay, not a punishment, intended to protect young people from pressures and risks connected to platform design. Australia’s eSafety Commissioner explains the restrictions here.
None of this means that every person who uses social media is addicted, or that nothing good ever happens online. Social platforms can support education, community, creativity, and connection. The point is that the design is not neutral. If an app is built to keep our attention for as long as possible, we have to become much more intentional about how much access we give it.
I did not disappear from the internet
I still use YouTube and Pinterest. Both contain algorithms and social features, so I would not say they are completely separate from social media. The difference is in how I use them.
For me, they function more like search and discovery tools. I go in looking for something specific: a recipe, a tutorial, fitness education, gardening help, pop culture and news, or creative inspiration - and then I leave. I am still learning what intentional use looks like for me, especially with YouTube, but that is a conversation for another day.
Going offline does not have to mean rejecting technology. It can mean choosing your tools instead of letting your tools choose how you spend your day.
My challenge to you: Take 30 days back
I am not asking you to promise that you will never use social media again. I am asking you to become curious about who you are without the constant noise.
For the next 30 days:
Check your current screen-time report and write down the number without judging yourself. My starting point was around eight hours a day. Your number is not a moral score, it is simply information that helps you see where your time is going.
Choose the apps that pull you into mindless scrolling. Delete or deactivate them for 30 days.
Tell the people who matter how they can reach you directly.
Make a short list of what you want to do when the urge to scroll appears: walk, stretch, cook, read, call a friend, work in the garden, play with your pets, journal, or simply rest.
At the end of each week, ask yourself: What am I noticing about my mood, confidence, focus, relationships, and energy?
Do not use the challenge to become more productive every second. Rest and boredom are allowed. The goal is not to fill every empty space. The goal is to discover what naturally returns when your attention is no longer being pulled in ten directions.
Maybe you do not need another program, you need support following through
You may already have a gym membership. You may already have a fitness program, nutrition goals, or a good idea of what would help you feel better. But knowing what to do and consistently creating a life that supports it are two different things.
If your evenings disappear into scrolling, that affects more than your screen time. It can affect when you go to sleep, whether you prepare food, how present you feel during a workout, and whether you have the energy to follow through on the promises you made to yourself.
That is where accountability coaching can help.
My coaching looks at the whole picture, not only workouts & nutrition, but the everyday habits surrounding them. Together, we can identify what is draining your time and energy, create realistic boundaries, & build routines that help you reconnect with yourself. This is not about shame, perfection, or someone policing your phone. It is about having support while you practice living more intentionally.
If you are ready to try the 30-day reset & want someone in your corner, I would love to support you through accountability coaching.
Explore accountability coaching with Coach Ilia.
Your attention is part of your health. For 30 days, stop giving it away by default & see what begins to grow when you water your own garden.
With strength & gratitude,
Coach Ilia Maria 🌻
